Back in middle school, one of my friends casually mentioned having a whole list of possible names for her second daughter. It sparked a thought in me as I realized I had never given any consideration to baby names. I had always been more focused on Barbie dolls and Bratz, imagining them as doctors, lawyers, and popstars. But when it came to actual baby dolls, I never had the desire to "play mommy" and my interest in them faded quickly. My Lack of Babysitting Experience
I was never a consistent babysitter and only had a few jobs during high school. One summer, I became a nanny for better pay, but I have to admit that by the end of the summer, I think those kids might have despised me. This further reinforced my lack of interest in being a mother.
Why I Don't Want Kids
I have never had the desire to be a mom. I never fantasized about staying home and taking care of babies. The thought of picking out baby names and setting pregnancy timelines never crossed my mind. When I say I don't want kids, I often get strange looks as if I'm from another planet. But being a mother is a huge responsibility that requires incredible patience, understanding, empathy, knowledge, innovation, and creativity. Not everyone has these qualities. If I don't feel financially, emotionally, or physically able to support another life, I shouldn't bring one into the world. It's not like owning a pet; it's a lifelong commitment to another person's well-being.
The Impact on My Life
Parenting changes your life completely. Your career, routine, and relationships all take a hit. It's a full-time job that I simply can't imagine balancing with my career. Your routine has to revolve around the needs of your kids, and your close relationships change due to the lifestyle of being a parent. And let's not forget the cost. According to a study, raising a child from birth to 18 costs an average of 2,000, not including college. This is a significant financial burden that makes me hesitant to have children.
The Pro-Family Ideals
With the current wave of pro-family, right-wing ideals in the US, such as strict abortion bans and pushing traditional values, many people are having children out of obligation or the belief that it will make them happier. Interestingly, a 2023 Pew Research Study shows that 57% of young men (age 18-34) want kids compared to only 45% of young women. It's strange that men, who don't go through the physical aspects of pregnancy, are the ones idolizing family creation.
The Real Side of Motherhood
Thanks to vloggers and social media, we now see the real side of motherhood every day. Women share their struggles like babies not sleeping, clogged milk ducts, and swollen feet. The exhaustion, post-partum depression, and body changes are all laid bare. It's time we take a closer look at these realities before making the decision to start a family or judging those who don't want one. Parenting isn't for everyone, and I'm tired of being expected to have a child just because I'm a woman.
